The Agony of Christianity

The above picture is for a book that I am planning on writing soon. It will be like nothing really I have ever seen but also so very needed for believers. It is essentially about Christian existentialism and the various struggles associated with being a Christian in a fallen world with a fallen nature and not only a God who demands perfection (not for salvation of course—I’m not forgetting grace), but also a God who so often (at least for me lately) does not seem to be present to help. I wish to face some of the most difficult and fearful questions that most believers think but are too afraid to ever mutter aloud for fear of feeling irreverent or fearing a heart of unbelief. I have been planning this work for about a year now. It really stems from my own struggles, failures, frustrations, fears, and confusions. I want to cut through the common cliché’s we hear so much in the Christian world and deal bluntly with the tough questions and issues. If you are reading this blog you can see that I have not posted anything new in many months. Some have wondered where I have been and what I have been up to. The answer: nothing. This last year was the worst year for me spiritually. I had many great things happen like moving into a new house and getting a new son, but spiritually I have felt dead.

In His parable of the soils, Jesus mentioned how the “cares of this life” consume some people and choke out their faith. While I believe that he is speaking here of false converts, I have felt like the “cares of this life” have choked me out. I have experienced a reemergence of old temptations from BC days, I have experienced a lack of faith and power to fight, and I have experienced a depression like I have never been through before. All of this has thrown me for a loop and caused me to painfully wonder where God is. Sadly, I cannot at this time report that all is well and better, but I am seeing signs of revival on their way and I am hopeful again of a resurrection from the dead. I want to write this book with naked honesty, blunt force, and genuine humanness in order that I may bring other believers not only some (of course not all) answers but also with those answers, comfort and hope. I want to cut through the many cliché’s that Christians hear so much, which are either false or worthless. I want to challenge other popular assumptions about “spirituality” and living the Christian life. I want to delve into not just the Joy of Christianity, but also the largely neglected aspect of the Agony of Christianity.